Depression and pregnancy

One of the hardest depression of my life was when I had 5 months of pregnancy. Insomnia was present, I had no apetite, and I have terrible thoughts like “this baby won´t live”. The guilt was present with such thoughts that didn´t seem to be mine.

Prozac was proved and Rivotril for insomnia too in pregnant woman, the problem was the lack of apetite and the three hours of sleep I could reached.

I felt like a girl having a boy inside me. I wasn´t prepare and depression wanted to eat me bite by bite.

When my son was borned I felt such huge responsability and so lack of abilities that each time I left home I give my baby a blessing and a kiss considering I wouldn´t return.

A few days ago, I found a friend and she told me her experience with depression and pregnancy and I wasn´t different. She told me something like: or you give me antidepressive medicine or I will end death.

I understand the power of the dissease and I wonder again if we, who suffer depression or bipolar desorder, should be mothers or not. It is an ethical matter.

Doctors say that 25% of sons or daughters of depressive moms, get the dissease and after all I have suffered I make the question Do I like my son to suffer in the future like I have done?

You have the answer.

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Writer. Poet. Teacher. Woman who loves.

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Claudia Restrepo Ruiz

Claudia Restrepo Ruiz

Writer. Poet. Teacher. Woman who loves.

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