Pessimism and depression
One word is attached to the other. While we feel depressed is very common to feel pessimistic. Normal things make hard to to, we pospone the shower, we do not want to talk to friend.
How we deal this? Actually, I do not know. I do not have the answers of every questions but I am aware of what happens when mind is not in its best moment.
I suggest to try doing some excersize and talk with those friends that fill your soul. Yes, those friends that make you laugh even when you don´t want to.
It is normal that you feel certain agony, difficulty to got sleep, a sadness you don´t kno where it comes from and pain in your body: your legs are heavy, and your mind doesn´t work the same way it uses to do.
Try to have little rituals like lighting an inciense, a candle, take care of your plants or talk to your best friend by phone for an hour.
If you are thinking in the people you loved and passed the way, ask them for guidance. No one is alone. Try to find that inner light that makes all work.
My best wishes for you.
If you need guidance or want to program a talk, remember you can reach me in firstname.lastname@example.org, Instagram @clausrpo77.