When depression is one of the major ones

We all have lived at least one depression in our lives, no matter if we are concious or not. Major depressions have presence in other kind of minds, the fast ones.

I didn´t accepted my treatment with the first psychiatrist I saw, years happend between I understood something was wrong with me and instead of looking for help I started to go under my biggest fears.

As soon as I arrived and Dad took that shoot of how nervious he was, he took me to the same doctor that was seeing mom. (Huge mistake) Normally this ilness is heredit and is not recomended that two members of the same family go to the same therapy.

Dad was desperate. What else he could do. I suspended my university semester, hardly talk, and I started drawing figures that jump from a window.

I have never tried suicide but I was close many times. I heard a voice in my mind that only repetead the words commit suicide… I was lucky because I had soul friends, and some of them knew me as the happiest person in the world, like Elvira and she was adorable, one day she went to visit me and sat in the floor with me and thought me how to say I am happy in German because she studied in German School. Ich bin frö. She also thought me one that says I am not alone. Her care and those two words in other language gave me strength to what was coming.

We used to draw together in the same workshop in Provenza with a teacher that had her study underground in her house. She always placed objects for us to draw and sunflowers were our favorites.